It's Friday. Sex?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
