problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
