Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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