Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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