I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
