yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize