Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
