You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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