New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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