these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
