where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
