some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize