oh god the rape fog is back!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
