I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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