Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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