Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
