Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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