you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
