Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just found puke in my bra..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize