I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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