I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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