im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The struggles of a small town man whore
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
