I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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