Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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