pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
