wrigley field is MILF paradise
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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