two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize