For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
