i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
