I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
