Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
