Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
