I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
