The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
