so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize