This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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