So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
did you just send me my own nude
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
