I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
