she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Randomize
