my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize