I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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