For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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