theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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