Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
