I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
