I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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