yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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