I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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