I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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