It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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