some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
