You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
