plz talk dirty to me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
