Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
