On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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