Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
