..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize