How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
