I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
