He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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