I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
