His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
