this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
