It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize