I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
