I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
