Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
