I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
