You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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