i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
