Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
