they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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